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19th Dec 2025: Plans and so forth

Plans and so forth

the website is coming along, in a sense! RSS feed is operational, so now it makes sense to start a blog. this will mostly be for keeping track of how things are going / what the current plans are re music, writing, the website, phd stuff? etc. at any rate, here is a list (unordered) of things i need to do related to all the creative output:

okay so that's a bunch of stuff that's achievable i think. firstly, the music. so! so... okay, so neocities has a kinda strict file size limit which scuppered my plans re hosting the music here. like, any given song comes in below the limit but boy howdy a lossless zip of an album does not!! i want an alternative to bandcamp which i can fully control (and ik this site is hosted by neocities but mayybe down the line i'll start hosting it myself), but bandcamp does make the actual distribution of the music, uh, much easier. idk if there's a way that i can upload each song individually and then have a download link that downloads them all at once plus the album art info lyrics and c. we'll see ig! this is probably my lowest priority, as these things go.

getting gender uphoria readable on this site is a TASK and a HASK. or a talf and a half. or something and superlative. anyway, the story is like 60k words, has some typos which bug the fuck outta me, and the little template i've got for my stories (which i reworked from Baris Senkal, found here) can be annoying to use with the longer stuff (even though i dig how it looks with all the shorter stuff). so, the options are either one just get through it like one chapter a day and spend however long it takes to copy and paste it all in correctly, or two find a different template where i can just put in a hunk of markdown for each chapter. we'll see what i go for. the story is available to download off the site regardless so again, low priority.

i got some various writing projects going as well. weapons hot is the main one. currently sitting at 76k words after the second draft of the second draft of the story, it's almost there. i need to watch an interview with Irena Klepfisz which a pal sent me before i get to the (final) redraft; plus i wanna read "the radical jewish tradition" by Donny Gluckstein and Janey Stone and "blessed is the flame" by Serafinsky. there are some elements to the whole thing that i need a bit more grounding in before i'm confident i can i write what i want to write in the way i want to write it. so, there's that to be done. only some bits need to change though so hopefully this won't require an entire rewriting as the first draft of the second draft did. i have kinda made peace with the fact that i probably won't have this done by new years, and even if i did there's a couple of people i want to read it before i put it out. still! this is the big one i've been working on since early summer 2024 and it's nearly out and i can nearly put it on ao3 with the rest of the mechsploi stuff for like five people to read LMFML. i am so sick of it you don't even know. JANINE, HAUNTED next!

the other writing things are not as large in scale but probably more urgent. my entry for the glasgow leatherdykes zine i think really ought to be done by the end of the year since we need to start typesetting and putting everything together for it. i wrote a kind of NO MANIFESTO in a weird mood which i am somewhat ambivalent on right now. i was planning out a slightly more serious thing about running events but a lot of what i was thinking of responding to ended up mostly being in my head. the thing i write most is erotica i guess, but i also don't know how to be sexy. it's a wordcount of up to 850, which is quite hard to do anything. almost inadequate was a vague attempt at this but it doesn't really have any leather or meaningful kink. i've started smthn else so we'll see how that goes. and as for anti-protocol... i wanna read the spectral woman by Ciara Cremin since that's staring at me on the shelf and i think will help me get back into thinking in the way that i need to for that piece. basically i just need to argue that romance is a mode of structuring relationships in which the participants are there to fulfill their respective roles in a Symbolic order they have jointly created. and then i gotta contrast that with relationships which are structured according to what the participants do rather than what they say they are. and then link this to two opposing D/s dynamics, high protocol and anti-protocol, where in high protocol, the s-type might be said to "betray" the relationship by not making coffee for the D-type in the morning (if that's the procol, eg), as opposed to anti-protocol, where the s-type is made to be the s-type and get coffee for the D-type in the morning, because the D-type will chain them to a radiator and leave them to soak in their own piss if they don't (eg). and you might think, hey that just sounds like abuse, and like, yeah but like, it's a negotiated kind of abuse (i hestitate to say consensual because "consent" is complicated). anyway, that should be written by early jan so we (glasgow leatherdykes) can maybe do a stall at the glasgow zine fair.

related, i also need to print UNTITLED LEATHERSEX TRIPTYCH. i was thinking of doing this at Good Press (s/o to good press) but that costs money money money. so i was thinking instead of using the printer at my parents place and just bringing like five hunder sheets of paper down. it's only 24 pages size a5 i think. idk what to do for the cover but i was thinking maybe some card, a stencil of the title & author, and like spray paint? we'll see. i am aiming to make 40 copies and see how they sell at the dyke night / associated places. i always feel kinda weird making zines cause i'm not like immersed in zine culture. like, idk, i read lamezine as a teenager but that's i think different in the same way that watching the simpsons parody the shining gives you a sense of the shining but isn't the same as seeing the shining. i've been to glasgow zine library a few times and perused the collection, but it's one of those places where i start getting an anxiety attack on entry becuase it feels illegal for me to be in there for some reason. like, the bit i am interested in is the writing, and the zine object i only engage with insofaras i get to distribute my writing a bit better. if i could hand my stuff off to a publisher and get something tidy back i would in a second, but you already know i'm a sellout at heart. ANYWAY, i will try to make the zine over xmas with the fam. keep an eye out. email me for online orders if u want ig???

i also need to rerecord some 7hdi vocals plus some guitar. no rush on that cause my pals who are doing the mixing and stuff are not going to be doing it until mid january, so i got time ig. at any rate, the next EP should sound more like us than the last one. i really want to record something myself in like a day, four songs as per, but we'll see i guess.

finally! the last thing i wanna do is get some better engagement on this site. like, comments, a contact form, a place for ppl to leave their little "i visited here!" things. the website is coming back in a big way. the stuff other people are doing is way cooler than me, and that's because again i'm primarily interested in distributing my creative output, but unlike zines ig i feel fairly excited when it comes to all this website stuff. i guess because some of my friends are doing it too we ambiently hype each other up. would be nice to immerse myself in the community more, certainly.

anyway, love from yr girl x